Nothing is more humiliating for me than my best guy friend encouraging me to master the art of sajiao, or acting like a spoilt child. Some Chinese women use this playful approach to melt the hearts of men. "No wonder you are still single," my friend tells me. "You're too much of an ice queen."

Sajiao behavior forms a big part in any romantic relationship of China. It is a combination of pouting, flirting and whining. One way to identify sajiao behavior is to notice your Chinese girlfriend making a sweet, innocent or even bratty face, yet cooing in a baby voice to convince you to do what she wants. You will know it when you see it.

Imagine you're shopping with your girlfriend when suddenly she turns to you, bats her eyelashes and babyishly begs: "Honey, my handbag is too heavy. Can you pweeze carry it for me?"

Cute? Yes, apparently. I've heard many Chinese men have no immunity to the sajiao assault. But from a Western perspective, it's a massive turnoff. I've heard from many foreign men who have dated Chinese women that sajiao behavior is unbecoming.

My friend Andy, who has a Chinese wife, said he tends to react with disgust or disdain whenever his wife goes sajiao on him.

"It's degrading and unrepresentative. I hate seeing her behave like a baby," he told me. He blames TV, saying sajiao behavior is perpetuated by every Chinese sitcom and drama.

Meanwhile, my Chinese friend Chi, who is dating a foreign woman, moans about suffering from a sajiao drought.

Unlike his Chinese ex-girlfriends, his current girlfriend never begs him like a baby, which he misses. "I don't want to ask for her to sajiao, otherwise it will make me seem too demanding," he said.

Sajiao is such a powerful weapon that Chinese women use it at almost any time in any situation; they routinely sajiao to their fathers, boyfriends, male friends and even bosses.

Women's magazines often feature stories teaching readers how to master the skill. My advice? Burn them!

Girls, if you want to find a functioning and lasting cross-cultural relationship or get ahead in a foreign firm, act like a professional woman. Nobody wants to see a female CEO acting like a child in the office.

I've heard complaints from a professor at a business school in Canada regarding his many female Chinese students. He said he does not want to sound racist, but he does worry childish Chinese women who often make cute pouts might ruin the reputation of the business school.

Even women can't stand their peers who use sajiao seduction. My Chinese-American friend said if a woman tries to do it at work with her boss, she will be fired.

"Sajiao is another way for Chinese society to infantilize women to cater to fetishes," she said.