Illustration: Liu Rui/GT

As the mother of a 26-year-old boy, I could totally understand the behavior of that mother in the news, who only wishes her daughter heath and happiness under her protection and care.

At present, most of Chinese families have only one child, who naturally get all the attention from their parents.

The generation born in the 1980s and after has been described as growing up in gilded cages. As the center of family life, they not only got infinite care and love from parents, but also even became the little emperor or princess for the whole family.

They do not need to care about daily life, since all their attention and energy is focused on their schoolwork to pursue a promising future. Being a good kid and student is the whole role they need to play well.

When my generation were children, kids were able to take care of their brothers and sisters, and undertake household work for parents. Nowadays it is very rare that a youngster is able to cook at home or take care of himself or herself independently, because he or she has never learned those skills in previous years living with parents.

However, parental love and care should be moderate. As an old Chinese saying goes: "Things will develop in the opposite direction when they become extreme." Too much love and care as well as overindulgence on purpose is destructive for the development of children.

In spite of disagreeing with the way of the "Tiger Mom" who adopted extremely strict methods to educate her children, we still need to prosecute our responsibilities effectively by being strict mothers or fathers.

Children are like a young tree that requires not only sunshine, but also storms to cultivate a strong character.

Infinite care and protection only make children like flowers in the glasshouse who can hardly survive outside in the world and become truly independent and mature people, which is not what parents want to see.

Parents' love for children is selfless and praiseworthy.

But we should not let the umbrella of love become the obstacle on the road of children's growth. Loving and guiding children moderately is the most appropriate way for modern Chinese parents.

The article was compiled by Global Times reporter Zhou Yiqun based on an interview with Tan Qiao, a retired accountant in Beijing. zhouyiqun@globaltimes.com.cn


Related articles:
Elders’ own worries reflected on their kids
‘For your own good’ is not good for us