Illustration: Liu Rui/GT

Editor's Note:

The parental overindulgence for one 26-year-old married girl who needed her mother's help to put on her socks every morning was a topic of argument online recently, which brought the controversial topic of parental overindulgence into the public eye again. The Global Times invited some people to share their thoughts.

It is common to see parents spoiling their children, but the Chinese way of doing it is unique.

Psychologically, this phenomenon not only reflects children's lack of ability to care for themselves or to have independence to handle and solve problems, but at the same time suggests parents' morbid dependence on their children.

Chinese parents' psychological dependence is a kind of pressure release, and is normally expressed in the way of spoiling and indulging their children.

Chinese parents have faced great social pressures and are reluctant to impose similar suffering on their children. Therefore, they unconditionally satisfy children's needs rather than provide appropriate love and care, which consequently breeds an arrogant and willful character in their children. This psychological dependence on children has become a collective psychological disorder.

 Chinese parental overindulgence mirrors the typical characteristics of the times. Many Chinese parents received a politicized education in their childhood, and generally lacked a stable and systematic family upbringing. The undeveloped spiritual civilization during China's reform in the past three decades also created a society characterized by selfishness, money worship and absence of faith.

Many parents hardly understand how to educate children properly due to the lack of proper concepts and methods of family education.

Many Chinese parents will meet every need of their children in family life, while making harsh judgments for children's educational attainments. Consequently, Chinese children live without independent spirit and humane solicitude, which has spawned a large number of social tragedies.

Chinese-style family education represents the good wishes of parents for their children, but also suggests their problems with child raising. It is no exaggeration to say that this deeply reflects contemporary Chinese vulnerabilities, problems and fears, which are not only the biggest obstacle to realize the dream of a Chinese renaissance, but also the nightmare of millions of Chinese families.

If no measures are taken to solve the problems, there will be more Chinese-style tragedies.

The author is director of Learning Sciences and Family Education Research Center, Shanxi Academy of Social Sciences. opinion@globaltimes.com.cn


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