Photo: IC

Talking about gender equality, Emma Watson's speech as a United Nations Women's Goodwill Ambassador on Saturday inspired support among celebrities and the general public. During the speech, the Harry Potter actress called upon men to fight against violence and discrimination against women.

Her speech immediately caught my attention and got me thinking about the position of women in society nowadays. Although it appears women are treated equally in most cases, yet mentally, many women are still bound by deep rooted "traditional values" in China.

The first of these values that popped in my head was: What does it mean to be a good wife?

Over the past few months, two major celebrity scandals made headlines in China. The first concerned the affair famous actor Wen Zhang admitted to having behind the back of his actress wife Ma Yili; an act that left many shocked as it stood in sharp contrast to Wen's established image as a "good husband." The other involved director Wang Quan'an, who was detained by Beijing police after going on a three-day prostitution spree even though his wife Zhang Yuqi is a young, beautiful and attractive actress.

How did these women react after the news of their husbands' infidelity broke out?

Ma wrote on her Sina weibo account, "Falling in love is easy, marriage is not, we'll cherish each other while moving on."

Zhang replied, "We'll shoulder this together."

Both of them decided to tolerate and forgive the men who seriously betrayed them, and for the most part the general public has viewed this as the proper action for a good wife.

Now, I am not going to say that their choice is wrong. Forgiving someone who wronged you does take a certain kind of strength. However, I can't help but wonder why it seems that women are always the ones who have to suffer the betrayal of a partner and tolerate the fact that their partner has slept around with someone else, or else be labeled a bad wife?

The burden of history

Looking back in history, we can see how these values are rooted in Chinese tradition.

Probably the most famous of these are the "Three Obediences and Four Virtues," crucial moral standards that women in China had to live up to in order to be seen as an upright member of society. The "Three Obediences" referred to the three men that a woman had to obey in her life, her father before marriage, her husband while married and her son after her husband dies. While the "Four Virtues" every woman should strive for were morality, proper speech, a modest manner and diligent work. Adding everything up, these rules basically mean a woman needs to put the interests of men before their own.

 Another factor contributing to the idea that affairs are really no big deal, is that in ancient Chinese society it wasn't seen as something out of the ordinary for a man who could afford it to have a concubine or even several. The emperor could have dozens of concubines in his palace without even needing to remember their names, and some of the concubines could go their entire "marriage" to the emperor only seeing him once or maybe not at all.

This long history of inequality towards women still has some leftovers in modern China.

Although women no longer need to follow the "Three Obediences" and bigamy is illegal, the idea that "Men can sleep around with different women, and it's their wives place to tolerate this behavior" still exists.

The thing is, although some people may not have realized it yet, times have changed. Women today do not have to rely on men as many women are able to fend for themselves by going out into the job market, and in some cases end up making more than their male partners. When women are betrayed by those they gave their trust, if they want to they should have every right to tell that person to "get out,"putting on a smiling mask and suffering in silence should not be the standard by which we judge whether someone is a "good wife" or not.

There are some places in China that are trying to revive these traditional values. According to China National Radio, a school teaching ancient Chinese civilizations in Dongguan, Guangdong Province has started a course called "Women's virtue."

"Don't fight back when hit; don't talk back when scolded; resign yourself to adversity and never divorce" are the course's four basic principles for women.

Even more ridiculous teachers there have told their students, "If you want to be a strong woman, you need to cut out your uterus, cut off your breasts and give up all female characteristics."

Although the course sounds amazingly ridiculous, some women chose to take it. China National Radio reports that among them are women whose husbands have had an affair, or are finding the burden of raising children too much for them. To some extent, this story reflects a particular type of deeply ingrained way of thinking among many Chinese women.

To really realize gender equality, not only should men join this movement, maybe women should work on reversing some of their attitudes as well.