Illustration: Peter C. Espina/GT

I hate eating spicy food. While hot peppers may indeed liven up a large number of Chinese dishes, my tongue repels them.

My reaction to spicy food is highly entertaining, or so my friends think. As the fiery food permeates every cell of my mouth, my nose starts to run, then my eyes fill with tears and my cheeks flush. As the heat overcomes me, I even become dizzy and have to cup my face in my hands.

It's a scene my friends take pleasure in capturing on video so that they can heckle me with it later. "Look what happens when we toss a few chilies at our usually bossy, in-control pal. She quickly becomes such a loser." 

Most of my friends, as you might have guessed, like spicy food. They argue that being a pepper-phobic is shameful. Not only do they look down their noses at my apparent pepper-eating disability, they take this issue to such an extreme to imply that people who enjoy eating spicy food are honest and straightforward, while those who don't are introverted and hesitant.

I wholly disagree with these accusations. I have all the good characteristics they claim are only possessed by pepper lovers.

I am extroverted. I'd choose passing out over being a party pooper any day. When dining with these pepper-a-holics, I'm always game to eat spicy food right along with them, refusing their motions to request the waitress to dial it down. I'm certain eating spicy food must be a skill that can be sharpened with practice and that one day, I'll catch up with these gutsy friends.

And who's to say I'm not honest and straightforward? When my face feels like it's flaming, I don't pretend to be an elegant princess. When I feel like red ants are burrowing through my insides, I don't sit upright and make out like nothing is wrong. No, I'm gasping for breath and mopping the sweat off my face, paying no heed to the fact that I might mess up my makeup.

If you ask people why they like spicy food, the response varies depending on where they are from. Those living in Sichuan and Hunan provinces, for instance, say it is a habit of survival because they need to combat a cold climate and keep healthy. Others from around China say chilies are stimulating, making them feel more clear-headed and enhancing their sense of existence.

These are all fair points, but it's not why I'm motivated to put my tongue through torture. I don't seek physical comfort from the Scoville scale. I seek social comforts. I eat spicy food because I don't want to spoil the fun. For me, that's reason enough to never cease trying to combat chilies, however much I hate them.

So remember this: If you have mates who have no talent for eating spicy food, but still give in to accommodate your taste for it, please don't tease them. Cherish them. They are eating for your friendship.

This article was published on the Global Times Metropolitan section Two Cents page, a space for reader submissions, including opinion, humor and satire. The ideas expressed are those of the author alone, and do not represent the position of the Global Times.