Illustration: Xia Qing/GT

A high school classmate recently told me she wanted to quit her job because her husband thinks she doesn't spend enough time at home.

She's finally landed a book publishing job after years of study, and she told me she likes her job very much, even though it does require a lot of overtime. She usually spends her weekends reading and editing books. Even though it's tiring, she knows it's a phase in her work, and it'll pass.

But her husband's complaints have totally changed her. Now, she doesn't even want to work anymore.

At first, I thought her husband wanted to see more of her. But after talking with her, I found out he was mainly complaining about the pile of housework left undone because she's at the publishing house all the time. Her husband also said it's only fair that they both share the housework because he "supports equality for men and women."

As soon as I heard that, I became furious. Now I have a few bones to pick with her husband. There are many men in China who think women should be in charge of all the housework. That may have worked in the past when women weren't allowed to work. But now, everybody has to work. Everybody gets tired after a long day stuck in an office, so you can't argue that women should do all the housework.

In the old days, men forced women to be stuck at home doing housework, using the excuse that men are at the top of the hierarchy, and women are only dependents. But now, how can men brainwash women and make the argument that forcing them to do housework is a sign of achieving gender equality? I've never seen anyone this cheeky!

But what seems to be worse, is that my friend subscribes to this logic. She has been brainwashed, both by her family and her husband, into believing that it is only fair that she does her "share of the housework."

She said, "It's fair; you see, my husband is in charge of cleaning and taking out the trash, and I'm in charge of cooking, washing the dishes, and laundry. I can't leave him to do all the work."

She comes from a family where the women do all the work. Her mother did all the work without complaint. So did her grandmother. She's learned from them. I need to tell her, and women who think like her, that it's not right. When you are in a marriage, the two people are supposed to understand each other and make compromises. Her job makes her very busy, so she shouldn't feel bad for not doing her part; instead, her husband should be more understanding and work out a compromise.

There should not be blame and plain division of chores in a marriage.

If that's happening, it's definitely not happening in the name of equality. Instead, someone is being selfish and uncaring.

This article was published on the Global Times Metropolitan section Two Cents page, a space for reader submissions, including opinion, humor and satire. The ideas expressed are those of the author alone, and do not represent the position of the Global Times.