Illustration: Liu Rui/GT

It's a lot of fun to watch the similarities and differences between the Democratic National Convention (DNC) that was wrapped up in Philadelphia last week and the Republican National Convention (RNC) that dropped the curtain in Cleveland a week earlier.

They both called for change. But at the DNC, which viewed the US through rose-colored spectacles, the pursuit of change was paired with hope, and at the RNC, which warned that the country was at risk, change was tied to fear.

They both sought to unify behind their respective candidates, Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump, but both revealed the fissures in each party. At the DNC, supporters of Bernie Sanders, Clinton's former rival for the party candidacy, were still protesting inside and outside of the venue, and at the RNC, no former president showed up and Ted Cruz, a former rival of Trump's, sought to ambush the convention by giving the finger to the candidate.

But what impressed me the most were the speeches given by the family members of the candidates. Both Clinton and Trump's spouses and daughters delivered eulogies that portrayed their loved ones as the most qualified persons to lead the country. But the speeches also clearly meant to fulfill different missions.

In the speeches of Trump's wife Melania and daughter Ivanka, the candidate is "the fighter," "the doer," who "has a deep and unbounding determination and a never-give-up attitude." They did praise him for being a good husband and a good father. But the only domestic touch was Ivanka's memory of building miniature buildings out of Lego on the floor by her father's desk "while he did the same with concrete steel and glass."

In the speeches of Bill Clinton and Chelsea Clinton, Hillary as wife and mother is a "real change maker" who "never quit" and "never, ever forgets who she is fighting for." But there were way more words and details about how she is a good wife and "the best mother in the whole world." Bill talked about how Hillary took care of Chelsea. "Hillary first and foremost was a mother," he told us. And Chelsea said her mother "will drop everything for a few minutes of blowing kisses and reading 'Chugga-Chugga Choo-Choo'" with her granddaughter.

To be sure, these speeches may not represent the speakers' exact visions of their loved ones. Rather they were responses to the public criticism and expectations of the candidates.

Hillary has long been attacked for being a robotic political machine lacking in real human characteristics. In this sense, Bill and Chelsea's words softened Hillary's image and made her seem like a fully rounded person who plays all of her roles successfully. 

In Trump's case, he has been criticized for his bullying comments about minorities, women and the disabled. So his family members tried their best to present him as an entrepreneur who built his real estate conglomerate based on the principles of inclusion and equality for women and minorities.

But the differences in the speeches of the first family wannabes have also shown a rather disturbing tendency, indicating that there is a sense that voters have different expectations for female and male politicians.

Families are always important background in the political arena. In the Netflix political drama House of Cards, which is often seen as a US Politics 101 course by audiences outside of the country, Frank Underwood, the sly Congressman-turned president has to maintain a shaky relationship with his wife Claire to win and keep political favor. And the party whip Jackie Sharp, a middle-aged single congresswoman, has to get married hastily in order to present a family image in her presidential campaign.  And in reality, all elections end up with families of the winning candidates getting onto the stage hugging each other and waving to the public.

But in addition to its requirement for candidates to present a happy family picture, the public often examines female candidates' role in their families with a much stronger microscope.

In a 2005 interview with radio icon Howard Stern, Trump talked about his interaction with his children: "I won't do anything to take care of them," said the real estate guru. "I'll supply funds and she'll take care of the kids. It's not like I'm gonna be walking the kids down Central Park."

Now think what would happen if Hillary had said that.

When Bill Clinton recalled the romantic landmarks in his relationship with Hillary in his speech, the audience could immediately feel the 800-pound guerrilla in the room - his extramarital relationships with other women. But nobody chastised him too hard afterwards.

Now think what would happen if Hillary had been publicly revealed to have slept with a series of other men.

To demand more in terms of family behavior from female politicians than male ones represents, at the best, an out-of-date mindset.

In today's US, women are primary or sole breadwinners in 40 percent of households with children. About 1.9 million men are full-time fathers. Nearly half of women between 15 and 44 don't have children. Men and women are more and more equal in terms of sharing the family duties.

But even that is not as important as asking: What do a woman or man's domestic skills have to do with their ability to lead a country?

The author is a New York-based journalist. rong_xiaoqing@hotmail.com