My cup runneth overtime

• Source: Global Times
• [14:04 June 29 2010]
• Comments

By Oliver Diem

I was just watching the World Cup. I had waited four long years for this, so I was thoroughly enjoying it, when suddenly, the players melted away into a Chinese couple in ancient costumes.

What happened? That is impossible. I didn't even look at the remote control. Then I realized that it must have something to do with the beautiful smiling woman sitting next to me on the couch.

My girlfriend's soap opera or whatever had started. The smile jumped from my face to hers and I felt the desire to scream. This was not how we agreed to settle television-related disputes during the World Cup.

I have always watched the World Cup and I just love it. Like I said, you have to wait four years!

But now everything is different because this time I have to watch it in Shanghai with my Chinese girlfriend.

She isn't fond of football, so to avoid any unnecessary static, I suggested that we buy a second television, or that I just head out to the bars to watch it with friends.

But neither way was acceptable to my darling. She said we need to save money and it would be a waste to buy a second television just for the World Cup. Besides, she wanted to spend time with me, so I wasn't allowed to leave. We needed a Plan C for the World Cup.

We agreed on following. During the World Cup, I am the boss of the remote, but in exchange, she has control at all other times. It might be a better deal for her - she thinks it is - but after all the World Cup is the World Cup.

Our bargain did require her to learn something about football so that I won't have to answer questions like: "Why don't they just give everybody a ball?" or "Why can't they build bigger goals so it's easier to score?"

I also thought that she could sometimes tell me what the commentators are saying since I do not understand any Chinese, but I didn't anticipate the noise of the vuvuzela, so my girlfriend made me turn down the volume. I now watch the game in silence, next to my cute expert ("C. Ronaldo washes his hair twice a day and the Italian players are all part-time models").

Sometimes I envy my workmates and friends when they tell me how much fun they had watching the matches at the bar, but I just look at my girlfriend's beautiful face and just smile to myself.