From heroes to zeros

• Source: Global Times
• [09:23 August 24 2010]
• Comments

Ineffectual plot

At some point in the various "twists and turns" of this ineffectual plot, our motley crew find themselves back in the US, licking their wounds and talking again about tattoos and troublesome women.

Unfortunately an assignation attempt by oily-skinned junky Gunner Jensen (Dolph Lundgren) and a never-ending and utterly aimless monologue by the usually competent Mickey Rouke offer enough motivation to propel them back to the island for one last effort.

And, of course, to save the girl. The film is permeated with blatantly idiotic lines like Dolph Lundgren's attempt to wind-up Jet Li's character (whose ill-fitting suits and hint of a gambling addiction form another appalling stereotype): "What size shoes do you wear? Size 3? Bring it, Happy Feet."

The audience is left to guess what "Happy Feet" is supposed to mean. Lundgren is also heard to sneer "Insect!" after breaking someone's neck, while he offers "Cockroach!" to another victim.

Sound effects are ramped up to a ridiculous degree with people falling over as if there had been a small explosion. In an attempt at consistency, the many explosions in the film therefore sound like nuclear bombs.

As the movie winds its way toward the inevitable big action scene at the end, the audience is made to suffer an impressive variety of annoying set pieces, such as Jason Statham grinning like a mentally troubled monkey for absolutely no reason, and Sylvester Stallone's attempt at running, which has become very chicken-like in his old age.