Illustration: Luo Xuan/GT

Most Chinese people are named after their father's surname. This has been a tradition in China as well as most parts of the world. Most Chinese do not find anything wrong with it.  

But things have come out differently for Papi Jiang, one of the most well-known and successful video bloggers in China, who has over 33 million followers on China's Twitter-like Sina Weibo. Papi posted a photo of her and her baby on Mother's Day. In her post, she said that being a mother has been one of the most tiring tasks of her life. 

However, some "feminists" maliciously attacked her on Weibo under the post. They say that, Papi, a well-known independent woman, seems so tired after becoming mom, and her baby is still named after her husband's surname, no matter how independent she is. These "feminists" believe that as long as the baby's surname is Hu - her husband's surname, Papi's image as a successful independent woman is fake. They even viciously said she is "a marriage donkey," a derogatory term invented by Chinese netizens to describe women who get married by selling themselves as slaves.

Many Weibo users, including me, were shocked by these so-called feminists' extreme thoughts. Does a surname issue reflect gender inequality? There is no need to make such a fuss. The habit of being surnamed after one's father is the same in many countries. A case in point is Brazilian football superstar Neymar Jr, who inherited his full name from his father - Neymar Jr's full name is Neymar da Silva Santos Júnior. His father's full name is Neymar da Silva Santos. 

Does naming our children after our father's surname mean that we are "slaves" rather than independent women? If this is the case, I guess most women in China, or even in the whole world, are still enslaved or oppressed by men. This is obviously not the case. 

According to Chinese marriage law, a child can be named after the surname of either his father or mother. This means Papi and her husband both have the right to discuss and make a free choice. Others should not be so picky and nosy, let alone force her to choose one way or the other. Nor should her baby's surname be a criteria to judge whether she is "independent" enough.

In fact, real feminism aims at social equality of both sexes. However, many so-called feminists on Weibo want nothing but female social privilege. This is an insult to real feminism. Many of them have a strong hatred of or contempt for men and boys in general. In addition to their hatred of men, they also try everything to demonize marriage and having babies.

It is actually difficult to define them. Are they feminists? No, because they are looking for female privilege rather than gender equality. Then do they represent misandry? Not really, because they viciously attack women too. They are nothing but a group of extreme and aggressive trolls who frequently post hate speech online.

Indeed, modern Chinese women should discard many old-fashioned traditions of the past that kept them down - such as believing that males are superior to females. But we should not go from one extreme to another. The above-mentioned, self-proclaimed "feminists" should understand that feminism does not conflict with marriage and having babies. What is important is that husband and wife share relationship as equals. And "equal" means that they both have independent personalities and respect each other.

If we let such extreme "feminism" develop, we are not far from a counter-chauvinistic masculine movement in the future. If the two genders fight against each other, we will see the all of humanity swing between two extremes. Why not just stop the fight, and mildly stay in middle and learn to respect and appreciate one another?

The author is a commentator with the Global Times. liqingqing@globaltimes.com.cn