It's that time of year when we fall face and stomach first into the abyss of China's National Day holiday. Without the pomp and circumstance of a parade, we thought that this year might be the opportunity to get some eating done; after all, the holidays are a time for indulgence, and gaining weight like an American chat show host.
Which is why we were absolutely shocked when a survey of locals led to the horrific discovery that China technically has no traditional national dish. In order to rectify this mass travesty of gastronomic proportions we've come up with a few iterations that the middle kingdom could adopt, along with some of the ones that have already been taken by other countries.
National Dish Contender
Peking Duck – It hardly seems fair to call this a national dish, although it's definitely the number one contender. While the duck and pancakes are a common celebratory dish in the capital, we feel Beijing wants to hang on to this one for a greater purpose. That, and we're not sure who gets credit for the pancakes.
Where to have in Beijing? Huajia Yiyuan 235 Dongzhimennei Dajie, Dongcheng District, or alternatively follow in Nixon's footsteps and try Quanjude at 14, Qianmen West Street, Dongcheng district
Jiaozi – We've disqualified jiaozi on the basis that they're far too similar to the existing Russian/Ukrainian national dish pelmeni, dumplings suspiciously similar in appearance and sometimes taste to jiaozi, served with sour cream. Argumentative types might suggest that pelmeni originated in China, but if we gave credit to every Chinese gastronomic claim, as one stalwart patriot in the office suggested, Marco Polo apparently brought pizza back from China.
Where to have in Beijing? Bao Yuan Jiaozi Wu, 6 Maizidian, Chaoyang district.
Hotpot – There are simply too many different varieties to declaim any one as national, and we suspect that Mongolia may have had a hand in its creation, plus it would annoy the county of Lancashire in the UK, and if it came to a fight between the hardened flat-cap wearing citizens of Lancashire with their cage-fighting eight year olds and China, our money's on Lancashire.
Where to have in Beijing? Haidilao have a chain of restaurants across the city check out www.haidilaohuoguo.com for details.
But the ultimate nominee for China's national dish, it could only be…
Gongbao Jiding – The pride of Sichuan may just be the answer that China is looking for, known in some form or another all around the world, normally as kung pao chicken, the spicy chicken and nut dish screams China from the menu. Ironically, the chili peppers used may not have been native to China, but rather have come from trading in India, after the peppers were established by Portugese traders who brought them from the Americas.
Where to have in Beijing? Try it at ANY restaurant in the city, though the best is thought to be at the Sichuan provincial government building's Chuan Ban restaurant at 5 Gongyuan Toutiao, Jianguomennei Dajie, Chaoyang district.
Rest of the world
While there were plenty we could mention here, we've offered a hint at some of the most popularly perceived national dishes, and an insight into why they shouldn't really belong to that particular country. Perhaps China can do what it does best, and pinch the intellectual property rights to some of these.
America
Hamburgers – The name should be a dead giveaway, marking their probable birthplace in the German city, and is thought to originate in salted minced beef grounds, which would have been a staple for visiting sailors. That said, the current artery clogging, heart-disease causing monstrosities on menus are a truly American creation.
Where to have in Beijing? Try Fatburger - 19 East Dongfang Lu, Chaoyang District, within a stones throw of the American embassy.
Scotland
Haggis – A Burns Night tradition these days more than anything else, nothing says Scotland like a pile of dismembered innards wrapped in a stomach and boiled to death. It's like Glasgow on a plate. But yet again the cruel winds of history suggest that haggis is not necessarily Scottish, and early veiled references suggest that the Ancient Greeks and Romans both ate variants of the dish.
Where to have in Beijing? Your guess is as good as ours, surprising given the Chinese fondness for eating offal. Keep your eyes peeled around Burns Night at the beginning of the year though, there are always a couple of enterprising chefs who turn their hands to it, or skim round some of the foreign butchers.
England
Fish and chips – It makes sense that an island nation has fish included in its national dish, no less cod, which is predominantly found in neighboring Atlantic. But the truth behind the food is that fish and chips probably originated in Belgium where the earliest examples of chips (or fries if you don't speak English) were found, carved potatoes in the shape of fish, which were then blanched and fried. The grubby chippy, complete with newspaper wrapping is all English though.
Where to have in Beijing? Fish nation is your one stop for a respectable fry up. But most of the pubs offer some iteration. Sanlitun Houjie, Chaoyang district.
France
Perhaps the dish that has made France stand out in the headlines the most has been foie gras, the goose liver pate created by forcing a corn paste down the neck of an exceptionally unwilling fowl. Once again the fickle winds of fate deny the real origin of the food. Humans have been force-feeding animals since they first began to domesticate them, and the earliest recorded examples in history are therefore from Egypt, along with the earliest recordings of human civilization.
Where to have it in Beijing? – Beijing actually banned imports of foie gras as of last year, not to protect animals as you might think, but rather in line with a larger raw food import ban, which means if you have foie gras here, it's probably locally made. And we all know how safe Chinese made foods are.
If you're looking for a reliable tester, you're going to have to go upmarket.
Where to have in Beijing? – Try Maison Bouloud, or Capital M. Both just next to the gate of Qianmen in front of Tiananmen square.
Spain
While tortilla de patata may be the most eaten dish in Spain, and tapas a favorite past time of bar goers, paella is probably the dish most synonymous with the country to outsiders. The mix of rice and fish, and in some areas, saffron probably originated during the Muslim conquest of Spain, which would account for the use of rice, a substance less commonly grown in Europe at the time.
Where to have in Beijing? – Try Carmen on the ground floor of the Nali patio and expect a bit of chatter in Spanish and some music to get you in the mood.