The book Wo He Langlang 30 Nian. Photo: CFP

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Lang senior chronicles Lang junior's success

Lang Guoren, father of pianist Lang Lang, hid in the corner besides the stage with tears in his eyes, while his friend read the letter Lang senior wrote to his son. Lang Guoren, too shy to read the letter out loud, expressed how proud he was of his famous son. 

After listening to his father's words, Lang Lang said that happiness aside, he also felt a bit sad. The father and son duo have been through their share of trials and tribulations over the years, complete with unforgettable moments.

The emotional press conference for Lang Guoren's new book, Wo He Langlang 30 Nian (Thirty years with Lang Lang) held in Beijing Thursday, was attended not only by the media but also Lang Lang's piano teacher Zhu Yafen and close family friends.

Documenting Lang Lang's childhood, the book focuses on the relationship between father and son, from the early days to Lang Lang's rise as an international pianist.

Typical Chinese parenting?

One infamous story about the pianist's training was that Lang Guoren once gave his son the option either to practice until success, or to die. Lang Lang had to practice for 10 hours a day.

Since Lang junior's success, he and his father hardly talk about these terrible moments in the past. In this new book, Lang Guoren offers the public a chance to see a more amiable side of himself, as a traditional Chinese father.

Lang senior compares himself to typical parents of musical children in China.

"I am the same as others. I cannot predict the future, but I can only work hard all the time."

Media figure Yang Lan said that when she first met Lang the father, she thought he was the kind of parent that firmly believed that discipline and oppression meant the same thing.

But later she understood that Lang Lang was not an ordinary child. Without some of the more extreme ways of his upbringing, Lang Lang might not be the superstar he is now.

Lang Guoren is often compared to the "wolf dad," a male version of the tiger mom popularized in Western media through Amy Chau's severe parenting techniques.

But Lang Lang, at age 30, is not a child any more.

"My dad is not a lang (wolf) dad. He is daddy Lang," he said.

Individuality and free will

Not only did Lang Guoren's rearing techniques attract controversy, Lang Lang's personality also stirs up the tabloids.

Differing from other classical musicians, Lang Lang enjoys speaking publicly to the media. He also films various commercials. His celebrity-like behavior has been criticized by some.

Lang Lang explained that a musician should not just focus on music but also on other aspects, especially a domestic musician who wants international acclaim. He said that this is why he understands his father. Breaking through in Western music is hard for Chinese musicians. He told the Global Times that it was not until he was in his 20s could he really see his father's point of view.

Lang senior admits that he passed his personal unfulfilled dreams onto his son.

"Do you [think] a child has independent will and space?" a journalist asked Lang Guoren.

 Lang senior said yes, though it depends on the kind of parent as well as the child.

"Lang Lang had less time to play. But he was not unhappy about that," Lang Guoren said.

He also said his actions were not unreasonable. "When you inspire him with music, severe ways are not suitable," he said.

As Lang senior wrote in the letter, only him and his son know the effort they put in, to persevere in times of pressure and difficulty.

He told the Global Times that each parent has his own way of educating a child; he does not mind if he is misunderstood by the public.

Channeling dreams

The family has experienced many hardships. Lang Guoren chronicles Lang Lang's rebellious time when they were in the US.

"Tyrant," Lang Lang once called his father. But when Lang Guoren tried to leave, the son apologized.

As Yang Lan said, Chinese parents are not used to expressing their feelings. But now, Lang Guoren has learned to say "I love you" to Lang junior.

Lang Lang said both he and his father have changed over the years, though the way Lang junior would educate his children will be different from his father.

Wang Tao, a member of China Publishing Group, publisher of the book, said at the conference that he disagrees with a so-called "failure education," a term to describe the phenomenon of an older generation passing on unfulfilled dreams to the next generation.

He said that such high expectations for a child to contribute to the country and society is part of traditional Chinese culture.