The head of the department that I teach for at university is a soft-spoken Chinese lady close to her retirement age. She has a respectable status and is from a middle class family. Mrs Wang, as I will call her, has traveled abroad including to Europe and the US. She speaks good English and has been managing foreigners in her department for years.

An experienced administrator, she was involved when Westerners started flocking to Beijing in droves around a decade ago to teach English. Of all the people at the university, Mrs Wang is one of the few who has been properly exposed to Western culture. Yet, when we chat and joke about life, I often can't help wondering why it is so difficult for her to understand social norms and values of Western society.

Last time we talked, she had tactfully boasted to me and a foreign colleague that her son had recently acquired a brand-new German sedan. I did not ask about the color, but I assumed it was black to emphasize power and status.

I expressed my fake surprise that her son, aged in his mid-20s and at the beginning of his career, was able to afford it. In response, Mrs Wang didn't even try to hide the fact that she and her husband had shelled out for the toy.

Having previously driven around a 15-year-old rust bucket in the US, I chuckled at the idea of calling my folks to request a new car. Like Mrs Wang, they have done well for themselves, too. Why should I still be seen behind the wheel of a piece of scrap iron?

The reality is that most Westerners I know, assuming they are adults, believe that driving an old, "uncool'' car one can afford on their own is definitely more respectable than owning a slick, expensive set of wheels mom and dad bought.

Some American parents might chip in buying a car for their teenagers, but the general purpose of the car is to help their kids commute to school or their part-time job. Buying a new, imported car for a grown man who can afford a cheaper one himself is hard to comprehend in any culture.

Similarly, my Chinese boss could not comprehend parenting styles that differed from spoiling children. She sincerely inquired: "What do your parents do with the surplus of money they earn if they don't give it to you? How do they show they love you?" She wasn't joking, and honestly believed that financial support was the most important way to show parental love.

Both my colleague and I couldn't disagree more, but there was no use trying debate the matter. I was utterly convinced that no matter how long I stay in Beijing, I will never accept some of the intricacies of doting parents.

Similarly, no amount of Western exposure can enable Chinese parents who shower their kids in material goods and money to understand the diverse ways love can be expressed.