Ru Yaa was my best bud in primary school in New York. Today, many moons later and far, far away from our elementary school days, she still sets the image of a quintessential Chinese child in my head.

When I think of her, I remember a frail and shy girl, traditional and conservative, and very obedient of her parents. This is what I imagined every Chinese child to be like, well behaved and polite, until life brought me to Beijing two weeks ago.

But boy was I wrong!

As I struggle to keep up with the fast paced modern lifestyle, beguiling Beijing time and again blows me away. For a country that juxtaposes a rich tradition against rapid development, I presume the kids to embody a similar contrast between the East and the West.

I have, in my second week here, only been exposed to children screaming their throats out, hitting their parents to numbness, and demanding their every desire from their caretakers. But the most surprising thing is seeing their every whim being fulfilled. I presume I have yet to see the obedient side to them; otherwise I would be broken to see the image that my best bud painted for me shatter into tiny pieces.

Could this be because of the one-child policy, I wonder? Although the policy has relaxed to permit a second child if one parent is an only child, but most of research has found that Chinese people will still continue to opt having a single child.

Why?

"It's that people have learned in a single generation that having only one child gives them the flexibility to be parents without being overwhelmed by parenthood," writes Lauren Sandler in the Washington Post on January 10.

I would argue that loving children and pampering them are always a great thing, but to do it at the expense of giving them a proper upbringing that inculcates in them good morals is worrisome.

And please let me assert that I am not advocating any harsh treatment of children. I am just saying that it would be nice to hear an occasional "no" come from parents' mouths, especially when the child is running riot and spoiling a subway trip or a pleasant lunch for others.

A child who gets everything they want, a child who is spoiled silly, and a child who knows no other way but their way will make for a dangerous adult. It may be that I have yet to immerse myself in China and haven't fully grasped the psyche of the children here, which I really hope is the case.

However, if what I've seen is close to reality, then I see a cause for caution for China.

Remember, they are your one and only chance, so raise them right instead of spoiling them silly.

Ayushma Basnyat, a freelance writer based in Beijing