One of my friends living in the US is a bit gloomy these days. She has a 1-year-old baby, and is continuing her PhD studies. For the whole summer, her mother-in-law has been there, helping look after the baby. Now her visa will expire soon, therefore she is packing and will return to China.

The saddest part for my friend is not that she will definitely become more tired, but is to see the forced separation of the old grandma and the little girl. "That's very cruel," she said. "The visa thing is very troublesome, and she has to go back and wait for another year before coming and hugging her granddaughter again. This almost makes me doubt whether I should go back to China."

This problem is not uncommon for Chinese, who've been witnessing increasingly rapid mobility since the reform and opening-up a few decades ago. Even for those staying in China but leaving their hometown to work in larger cities, the sacrifice is obvious - most only go back once a year, for the Spring Festival family reunion.

Usually I do not want to call it a "sacrifice," because it is us who choose this way of life and who are truly enjoying it. We settle down in a new place and enjoy a life filled with new possibilities. But inevitably for all first-generation immigrants, we have to undertake the cost of separating with closest family members like parents and grandparents.

A common conclusion that my friend and I have is that for first-generation immigrants like us, the costs are for the most part undertaken by our parents. Last year, her mother needed to have an operation, and my friend flew back to take care of her mother. She said, "The most heartbreaking thing is that even when she was in bed, she asked me not think about giving up her life in the US."

I deeply understand. Probably the Chinese are quite optimistic at this stage. Even people at my parents' age still believe that tomorrow is always better than today, and that their kids can have a better life in a new place.

I think this is a deeply embedded "Chinese dream" that drives us to find new possibilities. And the basic social mentality is in support of this, rather than insisting on a more stable and conservative lifestyle.

There is a cruel calculation circulating online every Spring Festival that if you add the dozens of hours you can stay with your parents each year, you will at most have a few months with them in your life. And it's even shorter with your grandparents. I feel sad about this. Every Spring Festival I sleep in my grandma's bed for one night, talking with her and hugging her. But once for a year. How many years will we still have ahead?

But meanwhile, these things also make us closer with family. Many times, when you leave home, meet puzzles in life, and find parents are always there every single time you turn around, you find how they love you and what family truly means.

Daisy Wang, a Beijing-based journalist