Two foreigners take a selfie in Tiananmen Square. Photo: IC

Lindsay Long (pseudonym), a 31-year-old who has lived in Beijing for over a year, sighed when a message notification popped up on her phone from her friends. They are coming to visit in September from her hometown in the US, and she never realized how much work it would be to have a visitor in China.

For over a year, Long wished that one of her friends or family members would come see where she lived and worked and how she experiences day-to-day life in China. Now the time has come, and she is exhausted from the endless questions and help she needs to offer her incoming pals.

With visa applications and fees, long plane rides, language and cultural barriers, a visitor coming to China for the first time can feel extremely intimidated. To get everything right and know what they need to do to make the process run smoothly, visitors turn to their friends who have been living in China and are now familiar with many of the processes. Unfortunately, this can change an exciting and happy occasion into a burden for the expat living abroad.

Two foreign women take a photo in ancient Chinese costume at the Palace Museum. Photo: IC

Phase one: excitement

Long was ecstatic when she received the message from her two friends that they wanted to visit her in China. Her mind immediately began racing with ideas and fun activities for them to do. She even started planning out the visit and sending them links to places and attractions they could visit together.

"I was so happy that someone was finally going to see what my life is like here. So many people have misconceptions about China and the way I live," explained Long.

She said many of her friends and family members think China is really primitive.

"Once I told my mom I was out eating at a Mexican restaurant and she said, 'They have those there?'"

Long began to think about some of the things she thought would be good for her friends to know before coming, such as getting their phones unlocked to use a Chinese Sim card, downloading a VPN and bringing a converter for their plugs. Little did she know that this was just the first of many conversations she would have to prepare her friends for their first trip to China.

In the following weeks, Long spent hours advising them on what to bring and wear. She even helped them fill out their visa applications question by question. She said she understands how stressful it can be, but it can be a bit draining. The hardest part is explaining how the process works to her guests and why they needed to book hotel reservations in advance and submit an itinerary for the trip.

Dylan Knight, a 26-year-old who has lived in Beijing for five years, had a similar experience when his sister spent a month with him in China recently.

"When I first found out she was coming I was beyond excited. Even though I didn't do much planning for when she got here, I had to help her get everything in order for her visa and flight," he explained.

Krista Williamson, Knight's sister, said she was stressed about getting the initial planning done as well.

"It was difficult for me to get everything done in time, and the passport, visa and plane ticket were very expensive," she said. "It was especially nerve-wracking knowing I had to buy my plane ticket before I got my visa, not knowing whether the visa would even be approved or not."

Many sites help foreigners learn about how to get visas in China, but they can be very confusing.

"One of the biggest fears was that I was going to fill out the application wrong and get turned down for my visa after I had spent so much money on the plane ticket," Williamson explained.

Knight suggested an easy service he had used when he got his visa, and after that, things went smoothly.

Phase two: questions and answers

Long spent a lot of time answering questions about little things that are common misconceptions in China. She said that one of her friends is a picky eater and was really concerned about the food.

"I knew that there would be a lot of options for her, but in her mind, she was convinced that there would only be chicken feet and mystery meat available," Long said. "So, I started sending her pictures of menus with food I knew she liked when I went out to eat so that she could understand that she could find anything here."

Williamson was also worried about what she could eat since she is a vegetarian.

A foreigner tastes Chinese hot pot. Photo: IC

"I had to take into consideration her dietary limitations," Knight said. "She's vegetarian, so I had to seek out and plan our meals around the few vegetarian restaurants in the area and cook at home. But in the end, we made it without a single bite of meat (on her end)."

"My brother assured me there were many places around that served vegetarian food, but I was concerned about the quality and variety," Williamson said.

Afterward, she discovered a vast amount of food options that were not only readily available everywhere but also delicious.

"I had vegetarian dumplings, there was always tofu around and lots of vegetables to choose from. Even when we cooked at home there was so much variety of fresh fruits and veggies; I always had something delicious to eat," she said.

Dylan Knight (left) and his sister Krista Williamson in a hutong near Knight's apartment Photo: IC

Phase three: logistics

Long is planning for her and her friends to go to Shanghai during their visit. She knows that it would be almost impossible to have her friends book their train tickets from the US because they are not familiar with the train stations and the areas where they will be going.

"I just had to take it into my own hands and book everything myself," she said. "I booked our train tickets, reserved the hotel and e-mailed them documents to submit for their application. I have even borrowed extra metro cards from friends for Beijing and Shanghai."

Long said some of the biggest concerns her friends have are ease of travel and being able to get around on their own.

Knight said this was also a concern for his sister. "Another thing that I needed to realize was that she knew nothing of the language and how confusing it was for her when locals tried to make conversation or even asked her simple questions," he said.

He explained that after living in Beijing for several years and being able to speak a modest amount of Chinese, it didn't cross his mind that he would have to translate for his sister as much as he did.

Williamson said when she first arrived at the airport she was a little shocked.

"I was traveling alone, and when I finally arrived, I couldn't even figure out how to exit the airport," she said.

Once she got into the city, she became much more comfortable. "I grew very fond of how easy it was to travel. We used the shared bikes and subway most of the time, and when it was too hot or we were too tired, we would just grab a cab."

She became more confident over time, but the language barrier was a constant issue.

"I would walk around the hutong by myself to get some fruit or food," she said. "The difficult part was when the store owners would ask me a question, and I wouldn't know how to reply or even what they were saying."

A foreigner shows off a bag with Lei Feng. Photo: IC

Long said this is also a concern for her when her friends arrive. "I hope while we spend the first few days together I can help them get comfortable going around on their own," she said, adding that she knows almost no Chinese and gets by easily in her day-to-day life.

"I will be working for some of the days they are here, so I want them to realize that even if you don't know the language, you can still easily navigate the city as long as you are prepared."

Long suggested that people with friends coming to visit make a list of the things that were hard or confusing for them when they arrived and try to prepare their visitors for them.

"I let them know about some of the cultural differences that were shocking to me at first, the best way to exchange money and what apps to download that will be necessary when they arrive," she said.

Knight said that since he knew he would be spending the majority of the time with his sister, he did not spend a lot of time going over simple things.

"I just crossed my fingers that the pollution wouldn't be too bad and that our flights wouldn't be delayed. At times it was, and they were. But in the end, it was a good time."

A foreigner plays with a scenic spot staff in panda costume in Chengdu, Sichuan Province. Photo: IC