Illustration: Luo Xuan/GT

When I lived in the US I was constantly with my friends, family or coworkers. If I even had as little as two hours to spare, I would call a friend and ask them to meet up. I felt anxious and unhappy when I was home alone or had to spend a day doing things by myself. 

It was common for me and my friends to call each other to ride along while doing errands, like going to the bank or grocery shopping. Things most people tend to do on their own without a tag along.

However, when I came to Beijing things changed. Without the countless friends one has from growing up in the same city their entire life, you are forced to spend some time alone, especially when you first get here.

Early on when I got to China, I felt really lonely. When I would see a foreigner on the subway platform, I would want to run over and say hi, but I knew that would probably be awkward. I was a teacher when I first arrived so I knew my coworkers and I had a roommate, but they had all been living here for a while and had their own lives and things going on, so they couldn't give me all the time and attention I desired. Also, being new in a foreign country, there were some differences that made it seem even lonelier.

In the US, if I wanted to grab lunch and I was alone, I would head to a place with a bar. At least there you could chat with the bartender while you ate and it didn't feel so isolating. However, things aren't set up like that in China, and I lived so far out it was a miracle to even find someplace to eat that had pictures or English on the menu. I spent a lot of time messaging my friends from home and watching movies in my apartment. I started to feel like I would never make any real friends.

Flash forward! After getting through the initial months and changes and going to events and places where I met and interacted with people and formed connections, I could finally say I had my own group of friends. I realized that my days and nights were starting to fill up with activities. I should have been on top of the world since this was my one and only wish when I first arrived. However, I started to notice a change in myself. Sometimes, when my friends would ask me to join them for a night out, I would decline and count the minutes until I could be home alone enjoying a night of solitude with my favorite take out and a movie.

In addition, I enjoy the free time running errands on my own and the ability to go at my own pace and do exactly what I want to do. I found that being alone was no longer lonely. I think living in a large city has definitely made me appreciate my alone time since it seems like you are never quite alone, whether it be in a cab, on the subway or even at your house with your roommates.

All in all, I am still an extremely social person and spend most of my nights and free time with friends, but at least now I know how to appreciate my "me" time, and that is a great feeling. 

This article was published on the Global Times Metropolitan section Two Cents page, a space for reader submissions, including opinion, humor and satire. The ideas expressed are those of the author alone, and do not represent the position of the Global Times.