Tanks at the crippled Fukushima nuclear power plant store nuclear-contaminated wastewater. Photo: Xinhua

Japan has a plumber complex. The country has perhaps the world's most famous and high-profile plumbers at the same time. In Nintendo games, Mario and Luigi jump up and down through the drainage to save Princess Peach. Through the sewer, Mario, cosplayed by former prime minister Abe Shinzo, landed on the stage of the closing ceremony of Rio de Janeiro Olympics.

Naturally, when Japanese authorities had no clue how and where to discharge the nuclear water, their plumber instinct popped up in their minds - just recently, Tokyo Electric Power Company Holdings (TEPCO) announced that it would discharge the contaminated water at the Fukushima Daiichi power station into the Pacific Ocean using an underwater pipeline that stretches out offshore. 

The plan is bound to kick off in the spring of 2023, and the company asserted that such a plan made it easier for the water to be discharged into the ocean. However, what they are reluctant to admit is that steps forward on the wrong path will only make things worse. 

Ever since Japan initially announced its plan, criticism and objections from both domestic and global communities have been ceaseless. Yet it remains a mystery whether the Japanese authorities are born with decorative ears or purposefully numb. Out of all the possible means of dealing with the contaminated water, Japan chose the least time-consuming and expensive way at the sacrifice of the local communities and neighboring countries, but the hundreds of billions yen saved certainly wouldn't be used to compensate for the potential loss of the sufferers. 

Is Japan really unaware of the potential risk of contaminated water? Not necessarily. Japan recently raised stern protests to the decision of US forces in Okinawa to dump water containing organic fluoride into the sewer. Such double standard proves that their motives are not oriented by the nature of the matter but whether they could benefit from it. It's like answering nature's call in a swimming pool. Once the Pandora's Box is open, the water flow would be unstoppable, eventually spreading to every corner of the world.

Therefore, I highly recommend Nintendo consider using the nuclear water pipeline as the background setting in making a Super Mario Bros Series Finale: The Fukushima Adventure, since the plumber bros could hardly make it to the next episode in a pipe full of nuclear water anyway. Despite this, the bros could continue their journey to save Princess Peach, which is, sarcastically, a most famous Fukushima specialty.

Throughout the journey of Mario Bros, countless turtles could be kicked down into the hazardous water and then genetically mutated, naturally connected to the plot of the Ninja Turtles, another selling point if copyright permits.

Then, when mission is accomplished in every stage, the classic caption still reads "Thank you, Mario! But our Princess is in another castle!" 

Of course the Princess should be in another castle. In a pipe full of contaminated water, Princess Peach might end up rotting like a Mermaid in a Manhole.

The author is a commentator on international affairs, writing regularly for the Global Times, CGTN, China Daily etc.. He can be reached at xinping604@gmail.com.