Photo: VCG

At one of Shanghai Hongqiao Airport's terminals, Betty Yu starts bracing herself for the impending journey. 

The young mother, ticket in one hand and her four-year-old daughter in another, prays that her young child will remain quiet for the duration of the flight ahead.

After finding their designated seats on the plane, Yu expertly produces several small bags of crackers and chocolates from her backpack, and distributes them to passengers sitting beside the pair. "Here're some snacks for you," she says to them with an apologetic smile, a routine she has performed many times before. "Please forgive me if my daughter makes some noises in the flight," she implores, before finally settling in for takeoff. 

Yu is one of many Chinese parents somewhat scared of travel with their underage children amid the growing aversion in the Chinese society toward children as topics of "annoying loud children on the train" have sparked intense debate on Chinese social media platforms. 

Lately, "No Kids Zone" signs, which are prevalent in South Korea, have unsurprisedly resonated with Chinese netizens, with similar signs making an appearance in hotels and other establishments in some tourist cities in China, once again stirring up a wave of online debate about whether the signs are an overreaction.

According to media report, in South Korea, there are already over 500 cafés and restaurants that have established child-free zones, prohibiting children under 12 from entering. A local survey also found that 73 percent of Korean adults agreed with the establishment of "No Kids Zone," with only 18 percent opposing it.

While denouncing "naughty children" has become a public opinion paradigm, more and more people have begun to worry that behind the aversion is an element of pedophobia. 

Chinese experts have warned against the dangerous trend prevalent among some people, especially online celebrities and influencers, of attempting to attract clicks online by bandying stories of thinly veiled anger toward children and disdain for fertility under the guise of "public morality." They have called for the society to be vigilant about those who purposely create a "carnival of hatred" and tear the society apart by exaggerating the conflicts in the public opinion field, as a more child- and birth-friendly society is the right way to go.

Angel or devil?

"I'm in my pedophobia mood," Li Yu, 23, a white-collar worker from Shanghai, texted her friends as soon as she was onboard of a high-speed train.

It is the summer holiday period, which means more traveling children. Onboard Li's train carriage was a cacophony of children running up and down the aisle intermingled with the sound of cartoons loudly playing on iPads. One was happily and relentlessly reciting ancient poems or singing, expressing her excitement at traveling.

The parents seemed largely unbothered, with some faux-scolding their children, which had little to no effect. 

Li put on noise-canceling headphones, hoping to take a nap while listening to music, until her bubble of tranquility was popped by a boy kicking the back of her seat.

But Li was not at her worst luck. 

In the clips trending online, there are an entire train carriage filled with children from a summer camp who could not stop yelling; there is a man who met a boy pulling his hairs, and when he protested, half dozens of the boy's adult relatives stood up, ready to attack the man; there is also a young woman who was trying to stop noisy children but was slapped by their parents…

In the chat group, Li's message was soon echoed by her peers. 

"I can imagine. Behind those naughty children are some negligent parents. Children's behavior can be seen as a reflection of the parents' own behavior," one said.

"Perhaps the parents have already developed a high tolerance for their children's tantrums and crying, so what may be considered bothersome noise to others doesn't bother the parents much," replied another.

"Pedophobia" seems to have become the general consensus, especially among the young and unmarried.

Such attitudes have prompted an equally intense backlash from the elder generation and those with children, labeling the child-hating subset "selfish" and "immature."

Some young people's aversion to children actually reflects their avoidance and rejection toward fertility issues, which is one of the biggest challenges facing the current low fertility crisis, said sociologist and educationalist Hua Hua, an associate research fellow at the Shanghai Academy of Social Sciences.

For a few people, it's hard to change their child-bearing concept and the way they think about children, let alone requiring them to empathize with children and their families, Hua said. 

"Having children is not at all on their mind," she told the Global Times.

Photo: Li Hao/GT

Growing conflicts

As the general aversion toward misbehaving children grows, there is an increasing number of news reports of incidents involving naughty children. "When misbehaving child caused chaos in public transportation, unapologetic parents thus resorted to verbal abuse" has become an infuriating and recurring news item.

The high frequency of such news reports creates a feedback loop aimed at child averse social media users, in turn generating clicks to pages and sites dedicated to child-hating topics, further reinforcing negative stereotypical impressions about children and parents, which are rarely countered by positive stories about well-behaved children. 

The increasing animosity generated through the proliferation of videos and negative comments circulating online, which further emboldens both the pro- and anti-child sides to be increasingly confrontational, both online and in real life.

The disgust and aversion harbored by some people toward children have affected parents with infants. 

A Shanghai resident surnamed Huang, whose son is only one year old, said the growing hatred for children worries her when it comes to her future travels with his son.

"I can't imagine how embarrassed and guilty I would feel, if other passengers blamed me and my son," she told the Global Times.

Huang, nonetheless, said she understands the feeling of the angry passengers who blame the children for being disruptive. "No one likes to a noisy trip," Huang said. 

But not all parents are ignorant. Li Hai, the father of an 8-year-old boy with ADHD, often experiences more challenges while on family trips.

"He is often restless in his seat," Li said, further explaining that "sometimes I let him play on the GameBoy. But if he is about to have meltdown, I will take him to the gangway to let him calm down."

"Children have significant individual differences, and as parents, we strive to embrace and accept this diversity. We hope our society could show more tolerance toward children, and this should be a two-way street," he said.

Sadly, the unruly behavior of some children in public places, though not illegal and can be corrected by parents, has been a tool used by some internet influencers or vloggers to stir up antagonism between different social groups, Hua said.

"That has, to some extent, damaged our current social atmosphere that encourages childbirth," Hua told the Global Times.

Hua believes that those people who express a hatred for children only make up a very small proportion of the general public, and loving and caring for children is still the mainstream social inclination in Chinese society. "The quarrels with children and their parents on public transport are just isolated cases hyped up on social media for attention," Hua noted.

World's solutions

For years, the national government in conjunction with local governments in China have worked hard to build a child-friendly environment with the continued improvement in the construction of childbearing support systems and facilities.

"But the so-called aversion to children spread on social media may prevent the public from seeing these efforts, going against to the government's expectation of an increased birthrate," said Hua.

"Population decline is one of the most pressing problems at present, thus a positive social environment for children matters," Hua noted. 

Traditionally, China had a cultural foundation of universal marriage and childbearing. However, the lifestyles of young people have undergone significant changes. They prioritize personal oriented goals rather than focusing on having children, said Yuan Xin, vice-president of the China Population Association and a professor of demography at Nankai University in Tianjin.

"The cost of raising children has evolved beyond just economic pressure. These high costs have contributed to a decline in the desire for childbearing," he noted.

A children-friendly activity is held in Guangzhou, South China's Guangdong Province on June 1, 2023, the Children's Day. Photo: VCG

To tackle the challenges, China has proposed the establishment of 100 pilot projects for building child-friendly cities nationwide by 2025.

As one of the earliest Chinese cities to incorporate "child friendliness" into its urban development concept, Shanghai has built numerous libraries, indoor and outdoor activity spaces, and clinics specializing in childcare over the last decade.

Shanghai is rolling out free nursery and baby care centers at communities for children under 3 years old (under-threes). A local non-profit childcare project, "Baby House," starting in 2022, as an example, is expected to cover more than 85 percent of the under-threes across the city by 2025.

A more child-friendly society requires the support and tolerance of every member of that society, as well as tangible investments. 

For instance, developed countries such as Switzerland and Finland have train carriages specially designated for parents and children. These carriages not only provide dedicated spaces for families with children but also include amenities such as playrooms and baby changing facilities.

Every Chinese person likely knows the great philosopher Mencius's advocation: "Love my own young children and extend the same love to the children of others."

A more civilized approach is needed to encourage the creation of spaces in which children are free to explore and express themselves naturally, thus enabling different social groups with diverse needs to coexist harmoniously, analysts said.

Ultimately, children are the creators of our future, and it's the job of us grown-ups to create an enabling environment for this, experts said.